Marriage can be a consuming fire of discontent or an unquenchable blaze of love.  Your approach and preparation will be the deciding factor.

Let us first define what counseling is?

• Counseling – something that provides direction or advice as to a decision or course of action
• Counsel – give advice to

When preparing for marriage, couples often get caught up in where they will live, do we share bank accounts, planning the wedding and every other detail that seems pertinent to solidify the bond.  For as many that consider marriage counseling in the preparation, there are just as many that do not.  For some, marriage counseling is a 2 hour session that identifies their fiance’s personality type and are asked if they truly love one another.  If the response is yes, they are sent on their way to a life of broken expectations and disappointment.

Marriage counseling should be given careful consideration and taken very seriously.  Think about it!  You are preparing to possibly commit the rest of your life to your fiance.  Why wouldn’t you thoroughly prepare and train yourself for such a tremendous commitment.  The average person is trained and educated for 12 to 16 years in preparation for a career in the workforce.  After that, depending on the area of career specialization, there is additional training and education that we receive to improve our chances for success in the workplace.  We work hard to get a degree, certification or license.  That too is a long-term commitment that must be and very often is, taken seriously.  Marriage should be considered even more important than your career when it comes to preparation and training.  Marriage, the foundation of family, requires a license, but does not require proper training.  Try practicing law without the proper license.  Try getting a law license without proper training.  Something to think about.

When done properly, marriage counseling will confirm whether marriage is truly the right choice for you and your spouse at that point in time.  It will also give you a new perspective on what to expect and how to manage the challenges that you WILL face in marriage.  Most people don’t understand the strain that can be put on your entire life when you haven’t been prepared and trained for the inevitable conflict that arises in marriage.  You are two different people, with unique backgrounds, ideas and feelings.  Your decision making process isn’t the same.  You will both mature and change with time.  This change surprises a lot of couples sending their marriage into a nose dive from which they are not able to recover.  Marriage counseling prepares you for the growth and change.  It teaches you how to love through the expected, as well as the unexpected.

Marriage is a beautiful proposition when it is with the person God intended for you.  I love my wife dearly and can’t bear the thought of being single again or not being with her.  I can’t imagine where we would be had we not attended our 12 weeks of premarital counseling.  It has made such a difference in our marriage that we decided to prepare and train other couples.

Marriage counseling won’t keep challenges from happening, but it will keep you together if you apply the training and are willing to do your part to make it work.  May God bless your marriage with true love that glows like a raging fire.

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