What is marriage?

February 18, 2009 by Timothy
Filed under Married Life

Have you ever asked yourself what marriage really is? No, this is not a trick question and there are no tricky answers to surprise you. It is simply an exercise of thought about an age old institution that many have considered, while others have ventured into. Let’s look at the actual definition:

Marriage: the act of marrying; the nuptial ceremony; two people who are married to each other; the state of being a married couple voluntarily joined for life (or until divorce); a close and intimate union

What aspect of the definition sparks your thoughts the most? For me it is the phrase, couple voluntarily joined for life. No one puts a gun to our head, in America at least, and orders us to marry one person or another. It is a decision we willingly make. Now if you married your spouse because you felt the pressure of age, family or friends, it was still the willing, and possibly bad, decision you made. There was no threat of beheading. Voluntarily joined for life is a major commitment that could last a looong time. People have often considered a home to be the largest investment or purchase they will ever make. It is time now to consider marriage as the largest investment you will ever make. I strongly suggest you think about what marriage is.

Let me add a few sprinkles to your already sweet idea of what marriage is:

Commitment to your bond of trust
Selfless when you want to be selfish
Being friends when you don’t agree
Communicating with your heart, mouth and body
Work that requires training and effort
Great when you both do your part

Marriage is what you make it. Every couple will have a slightly different experience because of who we are and how we choose to do things. We have all had dreams or expectations of what the perfect marriage and spouse will be like. Well, as a child we dreamed of money trees and living in palaces. I don’t know about you, but my house isn’t a palace and I only see leaves on the trees. With that said, there is no perfect marriage and no perfect spouse. This unwise expectation of perfection can often lead to disaster when it does not work out the way you dreamed it up. Let television be television and your friends pretend to have the perfect relationship that does not exist. Marriages evolve based on their environment much like living organisms. So keep in mind that as people we are flawed by nature. Therefore, how can we expect there not to be some degree of challenges in our relationships. But, don’t be discouraged and do not be afraid.

When approached with the right attitude and reasonable expectations, marriage can be one of the most beautiful experiences life has to offer. Through all of the challenges that may arise, I must say, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. This wasn’t an effort to make you afraid of the “perils” of marriage. On the contrary, I want you to count the cost before you begin the process. You have a greater chance of success if you enter marriage knowing that it is work and that there will be challenges. There are challenges when you’re single. What makes marriage any different? Find the person that God has chosen for you and get married. It will be the happiest moment of your life.

If I could put the feeling I had on our honeymoon in a bottle for sale, it would easily go for $250 an ounce. Send me an invitation!