What a sad day it is when after three years of bliss, things suddenly end.  Upon receiving the heartbreaking news that the relationship is over, you crawl into a shell of isolation and pain.  After many days, and possibly weeks of breathtaking anguish, the streams of tears begin to dry and the pain morphs into relief.  Wow!  It’s over and you didn’t die.  You actually survived a painful breakup.

Let’s be real here.  When you truly love or loved someone, breakups are never really easy.  You are comfortable with that person and can reasonably say that you understood him or her.  You know what they like and dislike.  Their family adores you.  And most importantly, you never have to be lonely (“Wink…Smile”).  Well, guess what!  Breakups actually take place long before they actually take place.  Saying the words, “It’s Over”, is simply the final scene of what began as a good movie but totally blew the ending.

Breakups happen over time.  Often times they actually begin with the first disagreement that was never resolved and continues to fester.  One thing leads to another while a perpetual snowball of frustration, misunderstandings and feelings of resentment begin to break down your fortress of love.  You don’t quite feel the same.  However, the thought of being alone and starting over is too much to bear.  So you stick with it.  You love them, but sometimes they are simply hard to be around.  At some point along the way one of you considers the future and its gloomy prospect.  It is then decided that life is is too short to keep performing cpr on a dying relationship.  Cut the losses and move on.

Everything in this post leads to one main point that makes breakups easier to deal with.  Here it is.  Before you walk away from a relationship, make sure that you have considered and exhausted all reasonable options to make it work on your end.  Simply put, give and be the best you can.  I heard you thinking, “I have”.  That it is probably true.  But just for kicks I want you to try a couple of practical things.

1. Make a list of all the complaints you have received from your mate.  Ask what you can do to make things better for each one.  Now, do it.

2. Evaluate and determine faults within yourself that require personal improvement and share them with your mate.  Ask for patience as you sincerely work through them.  Now, do it.

Breaking up is hard to do because you’re comfortable.  You don’t want to be alone.  You don’t want to start over.  Breaking up hurts because you’re left wondering about what could have been or what you could have done differently to make it work.  When you have done all you can do to stand, just stand.  If your best isn’t good enough it is time to move on anyway.  It is so much easier to leave a dying relationship and not look back when you have given your best.  The love has already faded along the way.  At this point, what else is there to feel bad about?  You are once again free and available for the person God really has for you.  Love yourself and be the best you that you can!

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